I am.. me. I am strong, despite life's events. I am shy. I love the Lord with all my heart and soul. I love whole-heartedly. I am crazy close with my mom. I laugh hard. I cry often. I trust, until proven wrong, then it is hard for me to forgive and forget.. I'm sorry a lot and I mean it completely. I will forever be faithful + honest. I believe in myself, but am driven by encouragement. I won't judge you. I love to eat. I love snowboarding. I am going to be a doctor someday. I want to have twins :). I want to change the world. I want to change a child's life. I want to spread God's word to those who are lost. I am a compulsive list maker. If I think abt something that needs to be done while I'm in bed I can't fall asleep unless I get up and do it first. I always sleep with both arms above my head, I don't know why haha. I wish I could sing. I don't like coffee. I have a bigger heart for others than myself and I wouldn't have it any other way. I enjoy smiling and seeing others smile. I color-coordinate my closet. I rock myself to sleep, every night. I love being home. I love to read. I love surprises. My headaches will be gone someday. I want to go skydiving again, soon. I love my job. I have the best family in the world. I am spontaneous. When I'm upset I clean. I am so OCD it becomes disruptive. I love shooting. I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue. :) I love being protected. I love getting complements. I love going to the movies. I am naive. I am strong. I am weak. I love sports. I miss cheerleading. I miss playing softball. I am very much a perfectionist. I love shoes + clothes and have an excess of both. I enjoy dressing up, and usually do no matter where I'm going. I would die for those I love. I sometimes am insecure. I get very nervous doing simple things. I can't stand when people chew with their mouths open. I have a promise ring, holding a sincere promise. I struggle. I want. I need. I don't like when people talk down on others. I don't like when people are hurtful, or make fun of another person. I listen to music too loud when I'm sad. When I'm upset I go for drives with my windows down + music loud. I love hearing the words, "I love you". I'm happy. I'm proud. I'm blessed. I live. I am.. me.
Mahatma Gandhi once said, "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
I am lost, without a spec of light at the end of the tunnel. But the tunnel is open at the end. It's far away, miles from where my feet have been so treacherously sunken into the ways of the world. I haven't fallen, my body stands upright and strong. My body stands reaching to the Heavens. My soul stands uplifted by the most expensive gift ever given, The Cross. So I have not fallen, I have only sunken a bit deeper. But I am standing in my way, the only way that I have fallen is to my knees, which is the perfect position to pray. So I have not fallen. I will never fall away from Him. When I choose my path, it is paving another year.. another century.. another breath in front of me. Each decision is taking me a step closer to where I belong, or do not belong. I am strong in what I know. I listen hard for The voice, and am content when I only hear the whispers of my own thoughts. Knowing that it is well with my soul, I am to be still and know that He is.. that He is God, that He is writing my love story, that He is ever present, even when I can only feel the cold wind sinking deep within my bones. Although at times it seems I have lost hope, I smile and know that I am in the perfect position to fulfill His will. That I have been so greatly blessed that if I were to ever shed a selfish tear, it would be a complete waste of a perfect moment. I lift my chin high knowing that I have a heart for others, and it breaks everytime I see pain, or suffering, or take a glance at the world around me, outside of my world. And I pray I never become numb to that. That is my goal, to always look outside of my world and to stand strong for those that cannot stand at all. To speak for those who have lost their voice. And to tell of and give the most precious gift that one could ever fathom giving.. and that's the love of Christ. Whether it's giving the clothes off my back, the home under my feet, or a heart-warming smile saying it will be ok while passing one on the street. I have not fallen, I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am going to make it there in His perfect time. Every path is taking me to who I will be. And who I will be is His intern, His hands and feet, His heart-seeking follower. So that when my time is up here, I will hear those precious words.. "Well done, good and faithful servant."
